Honestly, Scribbler’s such a slacker. First, she takes off around the world for nine weeks. Then she comes home and claims she’s TOO TIRED to write to you this month.
So who has to climb into the swivel chair? That’s great news for you, of course. I may technically belong to the feline species, but we all know my writing’s far superior to anything Scribbler can punch out. If you’re in any doubt, just look at my number of Facebook Likes compared to hers.
If Scribbler had any sense she’d hang up her pen and devote herself to dicing chicken breast and cleaning out my litter boxes. Oh, you didn’t know I have two en suites? Being a gentleman of fastidious habits, I keep the box in the laundry for number ones. The litter facility upstairs is more discreet. I reserve it for number twos.
Oh, but you didn’t want to hear about my personal habits, did you? You wanted NEWS.
Painting Scribbler’s study was by far the most important thing that’s happened lately. She complained the dark red walls were sending her blind and she needed “fresh energy” in the place. Excuse me while I hang up a dream catcher and scatter crystals around the place.
As you may know, I have a weakness for painters. Their white overalls make them look like giant cats. Without the tails, of course. Painters usually treat me with the respect I deserve. Except Gary seemed to want more than my autograph…..
Now the study has been transformed into what Scribbler likes to tell people is Sunshine Yellow. Their eyes glaze over and they say polite things. Then she blasphemes me, saying the nasty cat smell under her desk has disappeared. As if I’d do such a thing….more than once or twice.
Oh, and I almost forgot the people from YOURS magazine. A journalist, photographer and stylist wasted an entire day here making Scribbler feel important. The article about her will appear in YOURS on September 17. After that, she’ll be writing a regular column for them.
Scribbler used to swear she’d never write another column. Now she’s busy filling her notebook, saying excited to be a columnist again.
You and I both know who they should have asked.
Keep an eye out for Helen’s upcoming interview in Yours Magazine! Issue out September 17.